Kody Blackwell's "Over the Counter" is about a man who finds himself in a desperate place - he doesn't have money to keep himself and his three children in their home, and cannot think of a way out. The lack of money, however, is not the main conflict of the story. The conflict comes when a man he knows but wouldn't consider a trustworthy friend presents a possible solution to his conflict: selling prescriptions illegally. This creates a moral and practical dilemma for the narrator because he does not want to break the law and he does not want to risk losing his children. At the same time, however, he knows that this could very well be the only way to make the money he needs within the month. All he really wants to is provide for his family.
The voice in this piece works very well. The narration style is first person and done very well; as a reader, I was drawn in, and I felt like I knew the character and his personality in short order. The details within the piece as well, such as "we jogged, awkward and loud, in loafers and heels" when the family enters the church captures the mood of the piece and gives the reader an interesting mental image. The imagery is also something the reader can relate to without being cliche.
Something that would enhance the story would be to explain what happened to the children's mother. For me, that opened up a lot of questions, like if he didn't have money because his ex wife took half of it. Did she die? Those kinds of questions can be answered rather quickly. Similarly, I'd like to have Tim's character fleshed out a bit more. The narrator doesn't trust him, and as a reader I don't really trust him either (led by the narration) but why? Did he do sketchy things in high school? Yeah, he's suggesting selling drugs, but he says that he doesn't know much about the process. How bad is his character, exactly?
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