My first interest in the piece "The Love of My Life" by T.C. Boyle is the syntax he uses. His style of persistent concrete imagery used to describe a scene or situation over a long period of time reminds me of what I try to do with my work. I'll definitely be reading more of Boyle's works to try to decipher exactly what his pattern of writing is.
The description of China and Jeremy in the beginning ("They wore each other like a pair of socks") is very different. It pulls the reader in, because it's not cliche. Again, the concrete imagery -- everyone in his intended audience knows what wearing socks is like -- plays a strong role in setting up the scene and telling us about the characters. The two of them weren't just joined at the hip, they had a "sashay of love" that persisted through everything they did. Boyle's words, his list-style method of showing the reader exactly what he means ("to the mall, to the game, to the movies and shops and the classes...") serve to create a characterization not only for China and Jeremy, but for their relationship as well. But he isn't heavy handed with these descriptions. He only lists enough to convey his meaning, and then he can trust the reader to infer or remember enough to continue the story.
The mood he creates is also noteworthy. He is able to seamlessly move from very much in love to finger numbing fear to helplessness and despair from the beginning of the story to the end. The characters are also believable in this aspect because they don't jump from one of these emotions to the other. The emotions bleed and blend into one another in a way that is very human - in the end, China still loves Jeremy, though she will, supposedly, testify against him to save herself.
There's is no abrupt jolt for the reader until the end, when the story is inexplicably over.
(What is love worth?)
Good attention to the concrete images--definitely something to emulate. He uses a style similar to what you were doing in your story in that he moves through time quickly, yet there is still so much attention to detail, and he does slow down in the important scenes--the birth, for example.
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